I lost my journal, I think I packed it up in a box to be sent away. I hadn’t written in it in a long time, mainly because I like to be alone when I write. I haven’t had a night to myself in the past four months until last night, but I lost my journal. I feel the need to say everything that’s been in my mind in the past four months, but I lost my private papers. Sometimes I feel like I want to put it here, for the whole reason I started a blog, to express my thoughts, but I’m not good at sharing my feelings. Even though I know not many (if any) people read this, the thought of someone knowing all my personal feelings and thoughts is a little frightening. I feel like I want to share it with someone, but I don’t know exactly who. I know who I would like to be close with, but we’re not close anymore. I know who I am sort of close with, but I don’t want to share my feelings with them.

I’ve got so many thoughts running through my mind and I can’t control them, they keep me up at night. They won’t leave me alone. I feel as if I know what would make my mind ease but it’s not something that would work, I would have to change mine, and few others, lives. Not drastically, but enough that I know it won’t happen. Nothing happens how I want them to happen, not recently. 

I just wish I could talk to you, but even if you showed up at my doorstep I wouldn’t tell you. You probably wouldn’t care.