I feel as though I’m at a loss for words. I’ve had a really rough day today, and all I could think about was how I would like to have someone in my life to come over bearing oreo cookies and cream ice cream and all the seasons of The Big Bang Theory on DVD. Simply so we could snuggle on my non-existant couch and they could tell me everything’s going to work out, and they’d be the first person I believed who said that.

Right now I’m tackling this world alone, and I’m not ready for it. I have no one to depend on, not in this country. I wish I did. I’m not trying to seclude myself, but because my heart belongs on another continent I feel as though I was never entirely in Washington again. I had a good visit with Caitlin yesterday night, she made me realize a good way to put my feelings towards this place- I’m waiting for something. I moved to Washington to wait for my life to start, even though I didn’t know how it was going to happen. After a whole miserable year of waiting, I’m finally starting my life.

This is truly one of the best things that is ever going to happen to me, and I know deep down I am so extremely thankful and ecstatic, but all the stress of everything bad in my life happening at the same time as well is putting a damper on my mood. I’m torn in the middle of how to feel at this moment in time.

But everything will work out, right?